Am I that boring? 

Sitting here like a fool 

Guess I got scared 
Scared if I ever find out the truth 

If I do 
Everything will be over 

When I was little 
I though I'd be somebody by this age 

But sadly 
I was just an average girl who wants stability 
An average girl with nothing 
And can't dream much about anything 

That's what we're doing 
Letting life passing us by 

It's not about the sense of karma 
It's the unfamiliarity that you first feel 
Unfamiliarity about almost everything 

Love song is too obvious 
Love itself is already obvious 

You meet, you love, torn apart, get hurt 
And you meet again 

When you don't believe in those words anymore 
There will always be a new reason for you to not to 

Bet people get married because they get tired of repeating those 

Am I that boring?


A Toast to My Man

Hello there lovely creatures.

First, I wanna thank you to his dearly mother for birthing, this guy who has a rather large head and a very enormous heart. (:

You are a very special young man. A loving boyfriend, responsible son and brother, interesting cousin, and a good friend. And this is a toast from me, on your big day. Sorry for not planning any surprise but this is the least that I could do. (I don't think I can even plan a surprise for you if we both were in Malaysia :p) 

You are the guy that I know who works hard for everything and strives ahead regardless of the struggles and obstacles. And when I say everything, I mean … e-ve-ry-thing. ;) You are one of the smartest person that I know. (Okay maybe after Abah :p But for our age, you're a very informative person that I ever know) You are the touchstone in my life (And also after Abah :p). For almost 2 years we've stood by each other through the good as well as difficult challenging times. I know one year and a half is still too early to make such assumption, but I value all the times we had together since the very first post you wall-ed me. :p I love your sense of humour. All the lame jokes, even though I didn't get what you meant sometimes but I'm glad you have the skill. Aside from your lamentable quirks of character :p, you are a friend, a real one. You're always there when I need you, offering practical advice on just about everything (which is sometimes quite annoying :p). But you're not a mere theorist who only know how to talk but you walk your talk and walk it tall. You are larger than life in so many ways. Nobody makes me as annoyed as you do. I love the silly things that you do. Who else would Skype me and wears a girl's (d.i.y.) dress. 

Thank you for accepting me for who I am, a mad, neurotic mess of a woman. Who has no expression whenever you start to talk about facts but all ears when she needs one. The girl who never know how to multi-task, and blame you for it (and probably many other things that I can't recall :p). Thank you for allowing me to be me and still loving me in spite of it. You give me the strength that I need to get through my every day. I am proud of you and for everything that you have accomplished. You've taught me how giving up is not an option. I am forever grateful of the love that we share. 

22 birthdays, that's, well, quite a whole lot of living. Good enough to establish the character of a young man, to know who he is. Mohd Hariz, you are a very unique man I have to say. And tonight before my group discussion tomorrow, I am gladly putting aside my grumbles about my assignments, and assignments, and more assignments, to honour you. Happy birthday, Sayang. May Allah SWT bless you and your family always and give you the best the Dunya and Afterlife can offer. 


P/S : I am aware that there's alot of :p in the toast but I really did that, while typing. :p



//NP - Let Your Heart Hold Fast by Fort Antlantic

In a fit of recess induced procrastination, I was playing with my new jam that I made throughout this semester. Song by song, they really get me for some reason. Kinda into slow jazzy songs right now. Maybe I'm in the state where I am slowly accepting the fact that … I'm getting … old. 

It seems that the older I get, the more mature I become, both spiritually and in life, and the less I find I have in common with some people I've known and been drifting from them for a while now. I don't love them any less, I just have much less in common with them than I did before. Well, we all do. Correct? So I may not crapping about my boyfriend as much as I did before (not sure was it in this blog or the other one) but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with us. Maybe I'm getting so comfortable having him around and getting used to his presence since we've grown on each other so much in the past two years. Maybe the feeling to brag how in love I am isn't as strong as before but that doesn't mean I love him any less. 
So I've pick a topic for today's post. There's a lot of stories I wanted to share with you but it's too much, I think I need more time to write. If only I can blog through my brain, that would be awesome. :p So for today, I wanna talk about lé boyfriend. Not about how we met, how awesome he is, how I miss him dearly, yada yada yada. But more like something else but still related. 

As you know, right now I'm 2700 miles away from home. Plus another i-dont-know-how-many-batu after he flew to Binalonan, Ph for studies. Long story short, we're on LDR. I love the fact that I'm on a long-distance-relationship for several reasons but ever since he flew to Binalonan now, its driving me insane. Simple question. When am I going to see him again? Probably early next year? Or end of next year? Or this July? I don't know, since I haven't received my offer letter from Nottingham, and even if my application fail, our holidays are still different. So the fact of not knowing when is our next meeting is sort of, killing me. Who doesn't like to be in the oversea with their loved one? Seeing other couples waiting for the bus together, go the the market together, walk to class together, get coffee together and God knows whatelse together. I really hate to say this but,
it … hurts. 

And I'm gonna leave this post hangin'. 

'Til then :)

P/S : Salah Hariz, muka putih sangat.