I am eight years older now.
It’s the 18th tomorrow. Funny how I still remember the date. Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? I miss your lullaby. I would give up everything just to find you again. Eight years has passed by but I’m still here, suppressed by all the old childish fears. Eight years has gone yet your presence still lingers here. Your face, it haunts. Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me. I lay my head down in silent bliss. I know you remember me, though you may not remember dreaming. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I heard the words come out. You looked at me. You didn’t shout anymore. You were silently broken. I regret. I cry. I’m eight years too late now. Somehow, I’ll make you see. How happy you made me. And though I may have lost my way, I believe He’s still with me. All ears when I need one. I believe our love can see us through in death. Oh how I long to be like you. To lie cold perfectly in the ground like you did. I’m not grieving for you. I’m coming for you. And I’ll be right beside you forevermore. Don’t say I’m out of touch. I’m always here, chasing for what you wished me to be. I have found a world where love and dreams and darkness all collide, just like what you warned me before. So many fears were lingering in my mind. Maybe this time we can leave our broken world behind. We’ll be together again one day. I am proud to have you once, so please say that you feel the same. You always carried the sun in your hand for me, to keep me walking through the darkness.
And it’s my turn now.